Raising our children is a huge job. Each day brings new challenges, that are always covered with those kisses and hugs that we all love so much. But adding a disabled child into the mix really can shake a parent to the core. I have known about my oldest daughters "issues" since birth. I knew "something" was different, but took years to finally get a diagnosis.
One evening when she was three, I was really struggling with my daughter. Nothing that she had done, more struggling in my own head. I was morning....which every parent must do who has a disabled child. We morn all the things that a "normal" child will succeed at that our child will struggle to attain. This process is a must so that we are able to move forward and accept.
As I was in this valley, I began a very tearful conversation with my father. I was upset my daughter was unable to climb the ladder to the slide, she couldn't hold a pencil, and she couldn't ride a bike. It just all seemed so unfair! I wanted my child to find success! I wanted her to be "normal"!
My very wise father sat me down and said, "What is your goal as a mother? Not just for your handicap child, but all your children. Is it that they graduate from college? Is it that they make $50,000 a year? Is it that they have three kids and are a stay at home mom? What?? What will you see as success when they are 30 years old?"
After much thought...my only answer could be..."I want my children to be happy." My father looked at me and said..."Don't you see honey...you have already won with her! She is the happiest child one could meet!" And if you have had the pleasure to know my daughter...you would see this to be the truth!
You see, we must put things into perspective....We often see things through the worlds eyes. We must get back to basics and view them through God's eyes. I can honestly tell you today, that I am content with my daughter working at McDonalds, greeting at Walmart (which she would be fabulous at might I say! As long as she didn't kiss all those that enter!), or even wrapping napkins and utensils at a local restaurant. Above all the worldy goals which we all strive for, I want my daughter to be happy, to see meaning to each day, and to feel happy with what she has accomplished. No matter where that might lead her.....
Today...........I taught my daughter how to shave her legs! Who knew this would rouse such emotions for me! She has started cheerleading. Which means lots of time spent with girls (of the same age) whom are developing at all different rates. Several of the girls shave their legs. Now, my daughter has 
very light blonde hair so you really can't see it. But, when the sun hits in right, you can. So she asked when she could start shaving her legs. Now , I am also aware that her step sister is shaving and this has aroused some interest for her as well. Is there an appropriate age?? I am not sure. She has started to grow in other ways...so why not!? I wouldn't want to be out on the football field with the sun shining off my blonde filled legs! So we dove in this evening and fixed her all up! Boy...they grow up fast!
Time to start having those "talks" that every parent hates. I just keep telling myself take it one day at a time. We have had several of those dreaded conversations. I have tried very hard to make sure she feels she can ask me anything without freaking out. I try to play it cool and make sure I give just enough info to answer her questions, but not too much information that she has too much or more than she was searching for at that time. Amazing how shaving one's legs now has me be concerned about the next step of development! For right now...I think the next question will be when she can wear mascara. I can handle that one! :-)
