Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Opening a can of worms....

We (my husband, myself, and a few friends) have been having a few conversations regarding the very controversial subject of "What causes autism?" I know...I know....touchy subject. Are they "born" that way?....Is it the shots we give them at a certain age?? I am not here to debate either issue. I have my feelings about both theories...and really have not come to any certain conclusion. I was forwarded an email from a friend the other day that said "rainy places" are seeing a rise in Autism...and perhaps the rainfall has some type of effect on our children! Areas like Washington state are seeing a huge rise in Autism. The theories are endless.

But we ended up having a rather lengthy conversation about God's will. As a Christian...I believe that God knows what is going to happen in our lives...He knows what our choices will be before we make them! So, put that into our Autism conversation....Was my daughter always meant to be Autistic OR was it a choice that I made that caused her to be autistic!?? Oh my....I just opened a can of worms!

One friend believes that God had that plan for my daughter before she was born. The other friend feels that it God could have planned for her to "normal" but due to my free will and choices (getting shots, living around farm chemicals,etc), I could have changed my daughter's future! I can honestly say that I see both sides.

However, as a mother of a child with multiple disabilities, it is much easier for me to believe that God has always planned for my daughter to have these disabilities. For if I knew it was my choices, the guilt would be endless! Maybe that is a cop out for me....maybe I need to own that perhaps I did "do" something to causes her disabilities.
But, I know right now...that there is nothing certain. And as I said in my previous post...."When you know better, you do better." If I had known, I obviously would not have chosen to do anything to endanger her health and well being.
So, in that, I find comfort...whatever God's will for her life was and is to be......

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Medication and your child...

Deciding to put your child on medication is such a personal and heavy decision. Each set of parents must weigh all the pros and cons of this huge issue.
We have struggled for years with my daughters OCD issues that cause serious health issues(Putting thing in her mouth edible and non-edible). We have worked for years with a behavior specials, wait...not just one...but two! I am a teacher and am knowledgeable about positive and negative reinforcement...etc. However, nothing we have done for the past EIGHT years has helped!
So I finally agreed last year to give a psych med a try! Wow....that was a tough decision. Could this pill make her act strange? What if it causes another problem? Would she still be the same ol "k" I know and love? I have struggled with the fact that my daughter lacks communication skills. And if this "pill" is causing headaches, stomach aches, etc, she wouldn't be able to tell me. And what a horrible mother I would be to have my child take a med each day that makes her feel bad.
So...how did I overcome that dilemma?? Well, my behavior specialist looked me in the eye and said, "Heather...you know your daughter inside and out! If she feels bad, you will see it!" And with that.....we tried our first drug. However...after a year of testing out that pill, we really didn't see any results. So this past two months, we moved on to another drug. Now...I don't know if it is the pill...but the main behavior that was so dangerous has STOPPED! Literally...overnight!!!!!!!! Who knows if it is the pill, her growing up....etc....but something has clicked and it is working!

Now....being a mom...and always worried about what we have or haven't done all the time....the guilt has hit! WHY DIDN'T I DO THIS YEARS AGO!?? I can only say...I wasn't ready to go there then. And didn't feel it was right for my daughter at that time. And be ever thankful that it is working now!
So...we as parents must learn to trust our gut, do what we feel is best for our children, and when you know better....you do better!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My Brillant Daughters...part 2

Well....I have shared with each of you the joyous moments that my daughters show their utmost intelligence! Well....today on the way home from school we had another one! So, let me share!

My middle daughter, is an honor roll student, even though she is blonde! haha! :-) So, she can hold her own..right??? Well, she has a binder that the school purchased to log all of her daily assignments. Part of this binder has little tid bits of information on famous Americans.

Well, as she is showing me her binder, this weeks famous America was Albert Einstein. She notices his picture. I mean...how do you not notice Mr. Einstein's crazy hair do! So she says, "Mom, is this really Albert Einstein?" To which I respond, "Well, yes, does he not look like you expected?" And...here comes the brilliant part.....she responds..."Mom, I didn't know he was a real person...I thought he was a cartoon character!"

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am I falling down on my parenting or what???? I guess there is a cartoon whose characters are actual people from history. She never realized that these cartoon characters actually were part of history!

Again....those brilliant genes are running through my veins...OBVIOUSLY!!!