We (my husband, myself, and a few friends) have been having a few conversations regarding the very controversial subject of "What causes autism?" I know...I know....touchy subject. Are they "born" that way?....Is it the shots we give them at a certain age?? I am not here to debate either issue. I have my feelings about both theories...and really have not come to any certain conclusion. I was forwarded an email from a friend the other day that said "rainy places" are seeing a rise in Autism...and perhaps the rainfall has some type of effect on our children! Areas like Washington state are seeing a huge rise in Autism. The theories are endless.
But we ended up having a rather lengthy conversation about God's will. As a Christian...I believe that God knows what is going to happen in our lives...He knows what our choices will be before we make them! So, put that into our Autism conversation....Was my daughter always meant to be Autistic OR was it a choice that I made that caused her to be autistic!?? Oh my....I just opened a can of worms!
One friend believes that God had that plan for my daughter before she was born. The other friend feels that it God could have planned for her to "normal" but due to my free will and choices (getting shots, living around farm chemicals,etc), I could have changed my daughter's future! I can honestly say that I see both sides.
However, as a mother of a child with multiple disabilities, it is much easier for me to believe that God has always planned for my daughter to have these disabilities. For if I knew it was my choices, the guilt would be endless! Maybe that is a cop out for me....maybe I need to own that perhaps I did "do" something to causes her disabilities.
But, I know right now...that there is nothing certain. And as I said in my previous post...."When you know better, you do better." If I had known, I obviously would not have chosen to do anything to endanger her health and well being.
So, in that, I find comfort...whatever God's will for her life was and is to be......