Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Our Parenting Goals....

Raising our children is a huge job. Each day brings new challenges, that are always covered with those kisses and hugs that we all love so much. But adding a disabled child into the mix really can shake a parent to the core. I have known about my oldest daughters "issues" since birth. I knew "something" was different, but took years to finally get a diagnosis.

One evening when she was three, I was really struggling with my daughter. Nothing that she had done, more struggling in my own head. I was morning....which every parent must do who has a disabled child. We morn all the things that a "normal" child will succeed at that our child will struggle to attain. This process is a must so that we are able to move forward and accept.

As I was in this valley, I began a very tearful conversation with my father. I was upset my daughter was unable to climb the ladder to the slide, she couldn't hold a pencil, and she couldn't ride a bike. It just all seemed so unfair! I wanted my child to find success! I wanted her to be "normal"!
My very wise father sat me down and said, "What is your goal as a mother? Not just for your handicap child, but all your children. Is it that they graduate from college? Is it that they make $50,000 a year? Is it that they have three kids and are a stay at home mom? What?? What will you see as success when they are 30 years old?"
After much only answer could be..."I want my children to be happy." My father looked at me and said..."Don't you see have already won with her! She is the happiest child one could meet!" And if you have had the pleasure to know my would see this to be the truth!

You see, we must put things into perspective....We often see things through the worlds eyes. We must get back to basics and view them through God's eyes. I can honestly tell you today, that I am content with my daughter working at McDonalds, greeting at Walmart (which she would be fabulous at might I say! As long as she didn't kiss all those that enter!), or even wrapping napkins and utensils at a local restaurant. Above all the worldy goals which we all strive for, I want my daughter to be happy, to see meaning to each day, and to feel happy with what she has accomplished. No matter where that might lead her.....


Fratzels said...

This is one of the best posts I have read. You know I think you are one of the best mom's around.

God blessed you with this child. She is a beautiful soul, and He gave her to you. He prepared you and knew you would be perfect for her. Think about that for a minute. Think about how highly He must think of you to bless you and entrust you with this beautiful soul. Amazing! God is good!

Heather said...

You are too kind! There are days Chrissy where I doubt that so much. Just never feel I am doing enough. I think sometimes we all feel that way with our parenting skills sometimes!